Christmas Blessings

In this season, there are particularly more flurries than ever: flurries of snow that light up the eyes of the wistful, flurries of people gathering together, flurries of flames lighting the hearth, flurries of packages flying off new gadgets and toys. 

Amidst the flurries, hustles, bustles, packages, and gifts, I have, with more ease this year than ever, been able to look beyond that and see the many wonderful blessings in my life. I have a wonderful family who love me. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me, and I love him so very, very dearly. I have more friends than I ever thought I would only a few years ago. I have a home I can come to during breaks. Our home has central heating. I have a bed, and clothes, and food, and clean water. I am going to a good school and am in the process of fulfilling my dream of being a high school choir director.

Among all these blessings though, the ones this Christmas season I'm most grateful for are my family and my boyfriend. They're all so wonderful. They support me in what I do at school, they comfort me when I"m having a rough day, they spend time with me and make me laugh. And, I have learned so much from all of them: mostly to be more appreciative of the people and blessings that surround me every day.

♪

One of the things I'm the most grateful for this year has been my testimony of my Savior and the Gospel:

First of all, I know that my Father in Heaven loves me. When I read my scriptures and think of the wonderful world we live in, the Spirit testifies of this to me. I can especially feel His divine and perfect love for me when I pray. I know He is the Father of my spirit and that he has always loved me, and that I don’t ever have to earn that. I know He is pleased when I follow his commandments and I can feel His peace in my life when I do. I know that no matter what I do, my Father in Heaven will always love me. He is encouraging, perfect, and he knows me more than anyone. He knows what I need to learn, and knows what I need to be comforted about, as well as when I need it.

I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I know He was born of a virgin in a manger of Bethlehem, and that angels did in reality appear to the Shepherds. I know that he walked among the people of Palestine and Ancient America. I know he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane to atone for me. I know he died on the Cross and was resurrected three days later to complete this miraculous atonement. It is only through this atonement that I have the blessings I do: friends, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, the opportunity to repent, and the opportunity to pray to my Father in Heaven. He overcame both Spiritual Death (separation from Heavenly Father) and physical death (separation of our bodies and spirits). Through His perfect example, I can learn to become like Him. And through his atonement, I can be refined. When I repent, I will be forgiven. Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father will never leave me to be alone. They will never forsake me and they will always love me. Everything they do is for me, for my happiness, for my salvation, and so that I can return to live with them again after I die. Everything they do is because they love me.

Because Heavenly Father loves his Children, he called a prophet, Joseph Smith, to restore the Gospel to the same way it worked as set up by his Son in the New Testament. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ did in reality appear to Joseph Smith that that through an angel sent by them, he received an ancient record that contains the sacred and inspired writings of God’s prophets in the Ancient Americas. They, too, testify of Jesus Christ as the Savior and Redeemer of the world, as the Only Begotten Son of the Father, and as the only way to return to live with him. I feel peace and love when I read the Book of Mormon. I know what it teaches is true, and I know that I have come closer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior by reading it. It stands as a companion with the Bible in this testimony.

I know my Savior Lives. I know that He is the true head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and that his prophet, Thomas S. Monson, is an inspired and Godly man. I know he has also seen the Savior and testifies of him. I know the revelation he receives is in reality from God and is pertinent to the lives of ALL of his Children, of ALL of the world.

To whoever is reading this, I know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you. I know they will never forsake or forget you. I know that through prayer and studying the Book of Mormon, I have come to know them, and you can, too. I know that in keeping the commandments they give, I have come to feel a peace in my life that only the Gospel can bring. I know that life brings with it tumultuous times, but I also know that I can turn to my Savior and my Father in Heaven at anytime for help and comfort. I know these things with a surety to be true. I know it’s true. And knowing this has made all the difference in my life.

With sincerity and love,

S 

Knowing is better

I've had three discoveries within the past two weeks:

"Knowing is better than hoping."

1. Don't get me wrong, hope is extremely important! It's looking towards the future through positive glasses. Its dreaming but with a view of reality. Its looking at the possibilities and picking your favorite. But, at the same time there is just enough view of reality lodged in the back of your mind that you don't want to allow yourself to get carried away. Because if you get carried away and then what you hoped for isn't the right thing, you get hurt. So, there is a little snipit of doubt still lingering in the back of your brain, and its enough to keep you from acting on it.

That's really the biggest difference between hope and faith. Faith requires action. Its stepping into the dark based on the hope that your hope will be realized. If that makes sense.

For the past few weeks, I've been hoping something very specific. I knew that this was a righteous thing to hope for, and an eventual goal of mine, but I also knew that timing was crucial, and that was where the little thoughts in the back of my brain were having a bit of a frenzy. In trying to get past this little fear, I would say, "when such-and-such happens" rather than "if such-and-such happens." (Which was definitely an act of faith.)  But all the same, these little thoughts kept creeping in: "what if its not right?" "I'm really not ready for that." "There's no way I'll be ready for that." "I"m not good enough." "I'll probably never..." and eventually I had a break down a couple of times.

Because, there eventually comes a time where hoping isn't enough. "There comes a time when you need to know."

2. Over a month ago, I was texting with a good friend of mine, who is investigating the Church, and he was pretty sure it was true. He'd been looking into things, pondering, praying, and living the gospel for about a year. For a year, he had hoped it was true. But, eventually, there came a time when he needed to know. In fact, he was the one, in recounting his conversion story, who said the above quote to me. It wasn't that he had never prayed before, or prayed to know whether or not the church was true. But that evening, it came down to the wire, and he needed to know for himself if it was true. So, he found a quiet place to pray and ended up receiving a very powerful witness from the holy ghost that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is indeed, true.

It takes a lot of faith to pray, especially if the answer will affect the rest of your life. And not just the earthly one. In the past few weeks, I've been studying a lot: the scriptures, my Patriarchal Blessing, the father's blessing I received before the semester started, the people around me, their stories, the actions of my boyfriend/partner/super-awesome-date-buddy/man-friend, my feelings, and then I began to ponder everything.

And then I began to pray. The answer didn't come all at once, but it was more like in little bits and pieces: receiving revelation during Institute that connected to my Patriarchal Blessing, feeling the Spirit while sending specific text messages, feeling the Spirit more and more often within the past weekend at the Nativity display, walking around the Temple, and just sitting and talking.

However, it was the last one, feeling the Spirit while just sitting and talking, that gave me the answer I had been seeking. :) I had acted in faith, and now the righteous hope I had was definitely going to come to pass! In the midst of all this, I had wondered if the impressions I had felt were just from my brain, of if they were really from the Holy Ghost. Well, turns out they were definitely impressions from the Spirit, and I cannot express to you how happy and relieved and joyful I felt!

Happiness can sometimes be fleeting, but joy is a much deeper feeling that lasts much longer, and I now know exactly what that feels like."Joy is excited peace."


3. I felt a calm peaceful feeling as the Spirit witnessed to me that what I had been feeling in the past week was true and that my hope is a righteous one and that it will happen. But, at the same time, I was excited! I could look forward to the future with a surety that I've never felt before. I've felt the "everything will work out" version of peaceful, but this time it was the "this is how everything will work out and why other thing haven't. Aren't you happier?" feeling and I am more excited than ever! And I am happier! And I know what joy means now!

There was a member of the chorus in my play of life who didn't really stick out too long ago. Recently, he began nudging his way closer to the spotlight and finally became a main character. Over the summer and between scenes, he left the stage and I thought he would never be back. I started pointing the spotlight on other chorus members, and some were really good. But eventually I saw that the place had been already taken, and there was no way another chorus member would be able to fill in, even if they knew the lines. Again, he began scooting across the stage, but in the background. He surprised me by taking center stage once more! That was a month ago. Now, he's my main man, and he's not going anywhere! :) The cast shrunk, and many of the chorus members are gone. Eventually, a new act in the play will start, and it will be just the two of us, and I am looking forward to it!

I am excited, joyful, and happy! :)

TTFN,
S