"Knowing is better than hoping."
1. Don't get me wrong, hope is extremely important! It's looking towards the future through positive glasses. Its dreaming but with a view of reality. Its looking at the possibilities and picking your favorite. But, at the same time there is just enough view of reality lodged in the back of your mind that you don't want to allow yourself to get carried away. Because if you get carried away and then what you hoped for isn't the right thing, you get hurt. So, there is a little snipit of doubt still lingering in the back of your brain, and its enough to keep you from acting on it.
That's really the biggest difference between hope and faith. Faith requires action. Its stepping into the dark based on the hope that your hope will be realized. If that makes sense.
For the past few weeks, I've been hoping something very specific. I knew that this was a righteous thing to hope for, and an eventual goal of mine, but I also knew that timing was crucial, and that was where the little thoughts in the back of my brain were having a bit of a frenzy. In trying to get past this little fear, I would say, "when such-and-such happens" rather than "if such-and-such happens." (Which was definitely an act of faith.) But all the same, these little thoughts kept creeping in: "what if its not right?" "I'm really not ready for that." "There's no way I'll be ready for that." "I"m not good enough." "I'll probably never..." and eventually I had a break down a couple of times.
Because, there eventually comes a time where hoping isn't enough. "There comes a time when you need to know."
2. Over a month ago, I was texting with a good friend of mine, who is investigating the Church, and he was pretty sure it was true. He'd been looking into things, pondering, praying, and living the gospel for about a year. For a year, he had hoped it was true. But, eventually, there came a time when he needed to know. In fact, he was the one, in recounting his conversion story, who said the above quote to me. It wasn't that he had never prayed before, or prayed to know whether or not the church was true. But that evening, it came down to the wire, and he needed to know for himself if it was true. So, he found a quiet place to pray and ended up receiving a very powerful witness from the holy ghost that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is indeed, true.
It takes a lot of faith to pray, especially if the answer will affect the rest of your life. And not just the earthly one. In the past few weeks, I've been studying a lot: the scriptures, my Patriarchal Blessing, the father's blessing I received before the semester started, the people around me, their stories, the actions of my boyfriend/partner/super-awesome-date-buddy/man-friend, my feelings, and then I began to ponder everything.
And then I began to pray. The answer didn't come all at once, but it was more like in little bits and pieces: receiving revelation during Institute that connected to my Patriarchal Blessing, feeling the Spirit while sending specific text messages, feeling the Spirit more and more often within the past weekend at the Nativity display, walking around the Temple, and just sitting and talking.
However, it was the last one, feeling the Spirit while just sitting and talking, that gave me the answer I had been seeking. :) I had acted in faith, and now the righteous hope I had was definitely going to come to pass! In the midst of all this, I had wondered if the impressions I had felt were just from my brain, of if they were really from the Holy Ghost. Well, turns out they were definitely impressions from the Spirit, and I cannot express to you how happy and relieved and joyful I felt!
Happiness can sometimes be fleeting, but joy is a much deeper feeling that lasts much longer, and I now know exactly what that feels like."Joy is excited peace."
3. I felt a calm peaceful feeling as the Spirit witnessed to me that what I had been feeling in the past week was true and that my hope is a righteous one and that it will happen. But, at the same time, I was excited! I could look forward to the future with a surety that I've never felt before. I've felt the "everything will work out" version of peaceful, but this time it was the "this is how everything will work out and why other thing haven't. Aren't you happier?" feeling and I am more excited than ever! And I am happier! And I know what joy means now!
There was a member of the chorus in my play of life who didn't really stick out too long ago. Recently, he began nudging his way closer to the spotlight and finally became a main character. Over the summer and between scenes, he left the stage and I thought he would never be back. I started pointing the spotlight on other chorus members, and some were really good. But eventually I saw that the place had been already taken, and there was no way another chorus member would be able to fill in, even if they knew the lines. Again, he began scooting across the stage, but in the background. He surprised me by taking center stage once more! That was a month ago. Now, he's my main man, and he's not going anywhere! :) The cast shrunk, and many of the chorus members are gone. Eventually, a new act in the play will start, and it will be just the two of us, and I am looking forward to it!
I am excited, joyful, and happy! :)
TTFN,
S
For the past few weeks, I've been hoping something very specific. I knew that this was a righteous thing to hope for, and an eventual goal of mine, but I also knew that timing was crucial, and that was where the little thoughts in the back of my brain were having a bit of a frenzy. In trying to get past this little fear, I would say, "when such-and-such happens" rather than "if such-and-such happens." (Which was definitely an act of faith.) But all the same, these little thoughts kept creeping in: "what if its not right?" "I'm really not ready for that." "There's no way I'll be ready for that." "I"m not good enough." "I'll probably never..." and eventually I had a break down a couple of times.
Because, there eventually comes a time where hoping isn't enough. "There comes a time when you need to know."
2. Over a month ago, I was texting with a good friend of mine, who is investigating the Church, and he was pretty sure it was true. He'd been looking into things, pondering, praying, and living the gospel for about a year. For a year, he had hoped it was true. But, eventually, there came a time when he needed to know. In fact, he was the one, in recounting his conversion story, who said the above quote to me. It wasn't that he had never prayed before, or prayed to know whether or not the church was true. But that evening, it came down to the wire, and he needed to know for himself if it was true. So, he found a quiet place to pray and ended up receiving a very powerful witness from the holy ghost that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is indeed, true.
It takes a lot of faith to pray, especially if the answer will affect the rest of your life. And not just the earthly one. In the past few weeks, I've been studying a lot: the scriptures, my Patriarchal Blessing, the father's blessing I received before the semester started, the people around me, their stories, the actions of my boyfriend/partner/super-awesome-date-buddy/man-friend, my feelings, and then I began to ponder everything.
And then I began to pray. The answer didn't come all at once, but it was more like in little bits and pieces: receiving revelation during Institute that connected to my Patriarchal Blessing, feeling the Spirit while sending specific text messages, feeling the Spirit more and more often within the past weekend at the Nativity display, walking around the Temple, and just sitting and talking.
However, it was the last one, feeling the Spirit while just sitting and talking, that gave me the answer I had been seeking. :) I had acted in faith, and now the righteous hope I had was definitely going to come to pass! In the midst of all this, I had wondered if the impressions I had felt were just from my brain, of if they were really from the Holy Ghost. Well, turns out they were definitely impressions from the Spirit, and I cannot express to you how happy and relieved and joyful I felt!
Happiness can sometimes be fleeting, but joy is a much deeper feeling that lasts much longer, and I now know exactly what that feels like."Joy is excited peace."
3. I felt a calm peaceful feeling as the Spirit witnessed to me that what I had been feeling in the past week was true and that my hope is a righteous one and that it will happen. But, at the same time, I was excited! I could look forward to the future with a surety that I've never felt before. I've felt the "everything will work out" version of peaceful, but this time it was the "this is how everything will work out and why other thing haven't. Aren't you happier?" feeling and I am more excited than ever! And I am happier! And I know what joy means now!
There was a member of the chorus in my play of life who didn't really stick out too long ago. Recently, he began nudging his way closer to the spotlight and finally became a main character. Over the summer and between scenes, he left the stage and I thought he would never be back. I started pointing the spotlight on other chorus members, and some were really good. But eventually I saw that the place had been already taken, and there was no way another chorus member would be able to fill in, even if they knew the lines. Again, he began scooting across the stage, but in the background. He surprised me by taking center stage once more! That was a month ago. Now, he's my main man, and he's not going anywhere! :) The cast shrunk, and many of the chorus members are gone. Eventually, a new act in the play will start, and it will be just the two of us, and I am looking forward to it!
I am excited, joyful, and happy! :)
TTFN,
S
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